Cause and Effect
by The Blade of Osh-Tekk
Summary: There's a difference between being antisocial and having a shell. The antisocial either are to shy to interact with others or choose not to. Those who have a shell have a reason to hide behind that shell. To protect themselves. This my different take on Sheldon.Or at least an attempt.
1. Chapter 1 - New Neighbor

A/N: This is an experiment more than anything. I'm trying for a different aspect of Sheldon here, and I'll more than likely figure things out as I go. We'll see what happens with it.

* * *

Eighteen year old Sheldon Cooper was sitting in a restaurant reading Stephen Hawking's _A Brief History of Time._ In his opinion, which he had to admit was worth slightly more than most, it was a fairly interesting read if you found the accomplishments of man interesting. It was a required read for his class, and he memorized every word from page to page, but it was more of a placebo for himself. One that ensured he actually did all the work he was assigned. Mostly for himself than others. It was no secret that he was brilliant.

Every once in a while, Sheldon took a bite from the salad that was next to him before going back to his reading. The amount of money he made from scholarships was more than some people made working a stable job. And he hadn't even begun working yet. This was simply his second PhD. Then again, for some people, a PhD wasn't _just_ a PhD. Which was fair enough.

"How you doing?" a bright voice suddenly said. The voice was within his proximity, and by the sound of things, quite close. That made him pause before looking up. People didn't often seek him out.

He froze a little when he did. He needed to amend his statement slightly. More specifically, other females did not seek him out that were not assigned to his class, much less one as pretty as this one. She looked one of the women who looked at him strangely in college. Then again, he was eleven. They were probably astounded that he was there in the first place.

A scientist such as himself pay attention to everything, and this was definitely something to pay attention to. She was a beautiful blonde whose hair reached down to her shoulders. She wore a soft, kind face and white teeth that were bared in a shining grin. Her physique was rather slim, but very slim. She looked like many of the simply named, 'popular girls' that were in school. Question is that why was she at his table.

"I'm doing well, darlin'," Sheldon said, his Texan accent coming out. Often, he kept the Texas talk down to a minimum, but he was fairly nervous. She seemed to like the accent, and giggled.

"Mind if I sit?" she asked. He nodded nervously.

* * *

"Should we have invited her for lunch?" Leonard asked.

"No. We're going to start season two of Battlestar Galactica." His response was quick and curt; exactly how he liked to keep them nowadays. Also, a distinct lack of his Texan accent was noted. Things had changed in the past eight years.

"We already watched the season two DVDs," Leonard said.

"Not with commentary," Sheldon said, his response immediately as if he had expected that response. He did.

"I think we should be good neighbors. Invite her over, make her feel welcome," Leonard said. Sheldon then immediately caught on to what Leonard was implying. He wants to date her just because she could wear a pair of Daisy Dukes well. See how well that turns out for people like them.

"If you insist on wasting your time attempting to charm an aesthetically pleasing woman, who might I add, is more than likely way out of your league, then you may invite her over. But I will not ascribe to acting any differently around her," Sheldon said.

"It's not like that," Leonard said. Sheldon only gave his friend a withering look before rolling his eyes when he gave him that half exasperated, half begging look. He then stood up from the couch and followed Leonard out of the door.

"Hi. Again," Leonard said after Penny opened the door.

"Hi," Penny said.

"Let's please make this brief. The food's getting cold," Sheldon said in a mildly irritated tone. Also because he didn't want to talk to this woman any longer than necessary. Leonard gave Sheldon an impatient look, making him huff like a petulant child. Of course it wasn't a mature response, but that was the point.

"Anyway, we brought home Indian food," Leonard said, raising the bag. "And I know that moving can be stressful. And I find that when I'm undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect."

"Or not being harassed by two awkward looking nerds." Sheldon said it under his breath to a degree that no one could hear him.

"Also, curry's a natural laxative..." At this Sheldon stopped him while rolling his eyes. How is it the _he_ was the one who had to show Leonard how to be less awkward? His demeanor spelled it in bright neon letters.

"Leonard, I'm no expert, but in the context of a luncheon invitation, you might wanna skip the reference to bowel movements," Sheldon said, making Leonard nod erratically at his own mistake.

"So... you're inviting me over to eat?" Penny asked.

"Yes," Leonard said.

"Oh, that's so nice. I'd love to," Penny said.

"Great," Leonard said as she walked around the apartment.

"So, what do you guys do for fun around here?" Penny asked.

"Well, today we tried masturbating for money," Sheldon said, making Leonard give him a look that clearly said 'what the hell?' It took all of his might not to burst out laughing. He amazed himself sometimes with how he could say these things with a straight face.

"Ok, well make yourself at home," Leonard said as the door was closed.

"Thank you," Penny said brightly.

"You're very welcome," Leonard said, bowing his head nervously. Sheldon rolled his eyes before moving back over to his board and grabbing his marker. A little more doodling was in order maybe.

"Did you do this?" Penny asked, walking over to him. He blinked in a perplexed style. Most women who didn't study the field of science exclusively cared about it.

"Yeah. It's just some quantum mechanics with some string theory doodling on the side around the edges. That part's just a joke. It's spoof of the Born-Oppenheimer approximation," Sheldon said proudly. Science itself was his natural talent. He understood it better than some people understood the english language.

"So you're like one of those beautiful mind, genius guys." Sheldon blinked in a perplexed fashion at the statement. There were many phrases people used to describe his genius. Nuts was certainly at the top of the list. But he had never heard it quite like that. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face if he tried.

"That's one way to put it," he said, leaning against his board. Then he composed himself. He was starting to act like more like Leonard. Better to halt the train a little. May the God that he doesn't believe in forbid he pulls a Howard comment.

"This is really impressive," Penny said.

"I have a board, if you like boards. This is my board," Leonard said, gesturing to it. Sheldon again, rolled his eyes. Leonard was trying so hard to impress her. Doesn't matter. He'd learn the hard way.

"Holy smokes," Penny said.

"How about we just start eating?" Sheldon said, sitting down in his spot and grabbing his food. Penny sat on his right while Leonard took the chair across from him.

"Well, this is nice. We don't have a lot of company over," Leonard said.

"Not unless you count Koothrppali and Wolowitz. So are you purposefully implying a negative social implication or did you just gloss over that little detail?" Sheldon said. He wanted to add the fact that he most likely forgot about them was because he's doing... whatever he's doing to impress her. He felt the need to be blunt for him just to so he could enjoy his food without internally cringing.

"So how about you tell us about you?" Leonard said, turning to Penny and completely ignoring Sheldon's question. As many times as he did it, it still irked him to no end.

"Me? Well, I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know," Penny said.

"Well, I now know that you believe in the hokum myth that the sun's position relative to arbitrary constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality," Sheldon said, the words coming out like wildfire. It made him have to root out a piece of food between his teeth with the way it ended up positioning.

"Participate in the what?" Penny asked with a bewildered expression, making Sheldon sigh.

"Oh, good Lord," he said in an exasperated tone.

"I think what Sheldon's trying to say is that Sagittarius wouldn't have been our first guess," Leonard said.

"Oh, yeah. Lot of people think I'm a water sign," Penny said. Sheldon had to bite his tongue to avoid saying anything. It'd be easier to just be obnoxious on purpose. She'd leave faster.

"Oh, I'm a vegetarian. No, except for fish. And the occasional steak. I _love_ steak," Penny said, making Sheldon stuff another piece of food in his mouth. If he had to listen to this any longer, he'd bash his brains in on the table. Let's try to steer this into a saner conversation.

"What is it that you do for a living?" Sheldon asked. He was going to jump out the window if she said something ridiculous again.

"I'm a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory," Penny told him. He internally sighed in relief. Maybe the crazy part of him is taking over. He had the strangest feeling she was going to say something a bit more... provocative. To be honest, both versions of the definition could have applied depending on her answer.

"Oh, well I love cheesecake," Leonard said.

"Too bad you can't eat it or you'd outdo the Nazis in gas chamber technology," Sheldon said, taking a bite of food as Penny giggled his comment.

"I don't eat it. I just think it's a good idea," Leonard said with a pointed glance at Sheldon. The faintest hint of a smirk showed up on his face. He asked for that one. It'd be unsportsmanlike of him to not take advantage of it. And it wasn't a cockblock. It was plain fact. If you plan on dating a woman, she needs to know just what she's getting into if its going to last. He of all people at least knew that.

"I'm also writing a screenplay. It's about this sensitive girl who comes to LA from Lincoln, Nebraska to be an actress and winds up a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory," Penny said.

"So it's an autobiography then," Sheldon said simply.

"No, I'm from Omaha," Penny said. Leonard simply nodded while Sheldon shook his head. Alright, this was becoming too much. He was anchoring his crazier, more obnoxious side on Leonard's behalf, but this was starting to get tedious.

"I guess that's about it. That's the story of Penny," she said. Sheldon just stayed quiet and continued to eat.

"Well it sounds wonderful," Leonard said. If only he had mastered telepathy already. He would've messaged for him to get it over with. This was more aggravating than tutoring partying twenty year olds in college. Yes. Unfortunately, that was a thing. He was only eleven, and the duty fell on him out of all people.

"It was," Penny said, making Sheldon look at her in a slightly worried fashion. That look was akin to someone who had seen something horrifying. The scientist part of him wanted to know, yet common sense told him it was not his place.

"Until I fell in love with a jerk." Sheldon mouthed 'ah' in realization to no one in particular. Never mind. Silly him for thinking the conversation was going to get interesting for once. Like he knew anything about falling in love. Well, at least the love in that sense. It irritated him that his eye seemed to tick on its own volition.

"Four years I lived with him. That's as long as high school," Penny said.

"It took you four years to get through high school?" Sheldon questioned without even thinking, making Leonard shake his head at him. Right. Not everyone had his IQ. Got it.

"I just... I can't believe I trusted him," Penny said, getting up to go grab a paper towel to wipe her eyes. Then Leonard leaned to him.

"Should I say something? I feel like I should say something," Leonard said.

"Don't. I will," Sheldon said before looking up from his food. "Do you want to know my honest opinion?"

"What?" Penny asked.

"Relationships are often a waste of time," he said curtly, making her blink at him.

"What?" she questioned, making Sheldon set his food down.

"Well, if you look at it from a reasonable standpoint, what is the point of entering a relationship? To give someone full control over your emotional spectrum is honestly very risky as you don't know who the person might be. And the pros provided by such a relationship can be handled over a series of steps. You can find emotional support through friends and family, who will most likely be around you all the time. Money problems can be solved by seeking out a roommate, finding a better job, or managing your money better. As for the more physical aspect of coitus, well, there are a disgusting amount of people seeking one night stands. So yes. Relationships are in fact a waste of time," Sheldon explained, his tone curt and serious.

"I'm sorry. What? Did you say relationships are pointless? All that stuff you mentioned just sounds completely... left field," Penny said.

"But I'm not wrong. Many things that a relationship has to offer comes in different ways. More steps, but essentially the same effect," Sheldon said. Leonard held his head with his right hand and groaned.

"I'll repeat again. What?" Penny questioned.

"Must I explain myself again?" Sheldon questioned, starting to bring out his more obnoxious, condescending tone. Penny looked at Sheldon before looking over at Leonard and then back at Sheldon again. She then sat down with the most bewildered on her face. Her problem definitely was not solved, but at least it got him a minute of quiet.

"Why'd you say all that stuff?" Leonard hissed.

"I said the truth," Sheldon said.

"Says who?" Leonard asked.

"Says the data. It is far more efficient to follow those particular steps than to invest yourself in a relationship that could very well fail given how the odds are statistically against for it to succeed," Sheldon explained.

"You can't apply logic to relationships. It doesn't work that way Sheldon," Leonard said.

"Just did it," he said calmly in an as-a-matter-of-fact tone.

"Anyway, thank you guys for inviting me over, but I'm going to head back over to my apartment," Penny said.

"Oh, really. Did we do something?" Leonard asked.

"Oh, no. It's just... well, I'm a mess and all sweaty from moving... Oh, shoot. Forgot my shower doesn't work," Penny said.

"Our shower works," Leonard said, making Sheldon snap his head to him. He then shot him, 'you serious?' look. Again, he was ignored. There was the irritation bristling again.

"Really? Would it be totally weird if I used it?" Penny asked.

"No, not at all," Leonard said.

 _"Other than the fact that there happen to be two males in the house and you don't exactly live here,"_ Sheldon thought before speaking out loud. "If you are going to use it, it may be wise to bring a change of clothes."

"But everything's not unpacked. I'll just get back in these when I'm finished," Penny said.

"After you just said they were sweaty? That doesn't seem very logical at all," Sheldon said, taking his last bite of food before setting the container on the table.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Leonard said, making Penny smile brightly at him before heading towards the bathroom.

"Oh, boy. Would you just stop beating around the bush? It's annoying me," Sheldon said in an impatient tone.

"What are you talking about?" Leonard asked.

"Oh, please. I'm sure if she could see a thought bubble the entire time she was talking to you, she'd never come back again," Sheldon said with a roll of his eyes as there was a knock on the door.

"You don't know that," Leonard defended weakly before walking towards the door.

"Leonard, you are hopelessly misguided," Sheldon said with a shake of his head. Leonard just gave him a deadpanned look as he opened the door.

"Wait until you see this," Howard said.

"It's fantastic. Unbelievable," Raj said.

"What is it?" Leonard asked.

"It's a Stephen Hawking lecture from MIT in 1974," Howard said.

"Before he was fitted with the modulator," Sheldon said, making Howard smile proudly.

"That's right," he said with a swing of his arms before his hands joined behind his back.

"Now's not a good time. You guys got to leave," Leonard said pointing.

"Why?" Howard asked.

"Because there is a woman using our shower, and Leonard somehow believes that his awkward compliments and constant attention will eventually get him the to achieve 'ultimate prize' of coitus," Sheldon said with finger quotes, making the experimental physicist glare at the theoretical one.

"Hang on, there's really a lady here?" Howard asked. "I thought it was a joke, but then you brought up coitus. So is that why you want us out? Cause you're anticipating coitus?"

"I'm not anticipating coitus," Leonard said.

"So she's available for coitus?" Howard asked almost immediately. Sheldon rolled his eyes to the heavens. He was surrounded by people who obviously used the wrong head to think.

"Can we please just stop saying coitus?" Leonard asked.

"Blame Sheldon for bringing it up," Howard said, making the man in question roll his eyes.

"Oh, yes. Everyone shoot the physicist for stating fact. Leonard, you are fooling no one," Sheldon said as the door opened. Everyone that wasn't him gaped at her when she walked out.

"Hey, is there a trick to switch to getting it to switch from tub to shower?" Penny said before she looked up and saw the amount of people that were now in the room. "Oh, hi. Sorry. Hello." Sheldon was slightly puzzled by the fact that she didn't seem to feel awkward about being clad in nothing but a towel around four guys.

"Enchante, mademoiselle," Howard said, making Sheldon go to the fridge. Everyone was a lot more bearable when a woman wasn't around. Then again, Raj went mute when a woman was around. Then again, also on the other hand, Raj wasn't as obnoxious as Howard and actually somewhat civil.

"Howard Wolowitz, Caltech Department of Applied Physics. You may be familiar with some of my work. It's currently orbiting Jupiter's largest moon taking high-resolution digital photographs," Howard said a small flourish of his hand.

"Gracious. Let me show you this shower," Sheldon said, standing up. "If I have to witness Howard trying to flirt with a woman who is clad in nothing but a towel, I'm going to vomit." Penny eyed Sheldon at his statement. He simply gave her an impatient look before jerking his head towards the bathroom.

"I'm only going to show this once, so do pay attention," Sheldon said before adjusting the tub's spout. "It has a strange quirk where the water flow gets halted, so you have adjust it until the water will flow out. Though it's relatively useless information. Unless you plan on making this a daily occurrence. This made him raise a challenging eyebrow.

"Oh. Well, hopefully not. I just need to get my shower fixed," Penny said.

"I wish you good luck with that. Nothing has been done about the elevator and it has been years. Now take your shower," Sheldon said, abruptly ending the conversation.

"Wait! Um, can you do me a favor?" Penny asked as soon as he stepped in the shower.

"Just what would I get out of this favor?" Sheldon asked.

"Well, if you could pull it off, you'd rank really high on the friend list," Penny said, making Sheldon groan.

"If it requires a substantial amount of effort, then no. Now what is the favor?" he asked.

"I kind of need you to get my TV back from my ex-boyfriend," Penny questioned, making Sheldon blink in a perplexed fashion.

"Why would you need me to go get your TV?" he asked. "Is it yours? Did you make the payments on it? Is it in your name?"

"Yes, but he won't give it up. And given how I needed to get out, I wasn't much in a position to argue," Penny said.

"Oh. Say no more. That's something that will take a minimum amount of effort," Sheldon said, walking out. All it would was one phone call.

* * *

"I'm sure you can manage that TV, can't you Kurt?" Sheldon questioned.

"Tell me why again exactly you called the police on me just for a TV?" he asked.

"Because what you did under all rights and purposes is stealing. Withholding access of an item for a person who has paid for and is, legally, in direct ownership of said item, is stealing. I don't abide much by criminals. If I truly cared about taking this far, I could've gotten you arrested and taken back the item as a result. But I do not," Sheldon said.

"So you're trying to get in her pants too," Kurt said, making Sheldon roll his eyes.

"Hardly. I don' think with my penis like so many other males on this planet. No, I just have quite a bit of distaste for a cheater," Sheldon said, his normally cold and distant tone now sounding venomous with his Texan accent coming out. It made Kurt snap his head to him. He wasn't much of a reader, but he sounded like he was upset enough to throw a punch.

"She didn't move out for long. What all did she tell you?" he asked.

"Enough to fill in the blanks," Sheldon said, his tone going back to normal as if nothing happened before he knocked on the door to Penny's apartment. Of course, Kurt looked at him weirdly when he knocked three times. It was amazing who almost ended up getting him in trouble with the law again. A weird guy in a Flash shirt and old man looking pants.

Penny opened the door and her eyes widened when she saw Kurt. Then she looked to Sheldon and back to Kurt again.

"Wait, you brought my TV back?" she asked.

"Unwillingly. But your friend here can be... convincing," Kurt said before walking past her and setting the TV down. "Am I done?"

"Yes, you are. I'll inform them that you're off the hook. You can go," Sheldon said dismissively. The tone he used really made Kurt want to punch him, but that would only give him reason to go through with his threat with the police. So he just walked out.

"'Them?'" Penny asked.

"The police. It was a simple matter of theft, and he was forced to give up the TV or face jail time. As you can see, it was very effective," Sheldon said.

"You didn't have to do all of that," Penny said, blinking in surprise at the physicist.

"No. Like I told you, the effort was minimal. All I needed to do was call the police, make a drive to the police station, then back to Kurt's to inform him of the situation. I suppose I'll ignore the compensation for the amount of gas I used since this was in fact a 'favor,'" Sheldon said with finger quotes. He was then cut off by Penny hugging him, making him stiffen before drawing himself away from her.

"Penny, if you don't mind, I'm not much one for being hugged," Sheldon said stiffly.

"What?" Penny asked in a perplexed tone before releasing him.

"Oh, good Lord. Woman, you have got a lot to learn," Sheldon said before heading back over to his apartment. Penny blinked in a perplexed fashion as the physicist left. She didn't know whether he was brilliant or crazy. Probably both.

* * *

A/N: I'm sure up all noticed quite of bit of difference between the default Sheldon and this Sheldon. For one, this one actually DRIVES. I could go down the list, but just figure them all out for yourself. This is a bit of a pilot episode to see how it goes. I don't update often, given how work is always getting in the way, but it'll always be here.


	2. Chapter 2 - Halloween

A/N: A note to most of the reviews I'm seeing. I have no clue if this'll be Shenny. I see this story playing out in multiple ways, and I'm not sure which one I'll decide on. In all honesty, it might not even focus on a pairing. This is more about Sheldon than anything. I just want to play with the idea that I have for him. I don't give two shits how it ends. Also, like I said. I do this story when I want. It's not a priority.

* * *

"Well, at least we won, right?" Raj said in an happy tone. Sheldon looked over to the Indian man, his expression showing he was miffed.

"Gentleman, you suck at paintball. It's amazing we even won in the first place," he said, sounding unusually gruff.

"Because of my last minute shot," Howard said, adjusting his camo gear.

"The one person to show any aim. It's like the rest of yeh have the aim of a cross eyed armadillo," Sheldon said with some twang in his voice. None of them figured out why Sheldon only got like this when he played paintball. Suddenly he become athletic and Texan instead of socially awkward and nerdy like the rest of them.

"We weren't that bad," Leonard assured Sheldon, who looked at his roommate like he was crazy.

"How hard is it tuh shoot a preadolescence Jew standing three feet in front of yuh?" he asked. "Good Lord, if a bat could hold a gun, he'd have better aim than yu... you." Sheldon finally seemed to snap out of that Texan daze he was in.

"I get it. Can we please stop talking about it?" Leonard said, his tone practically begging.

"Well, let's just acknowledge one thing," Sheldon said.

"And what's that?" Raj asked.

"I need better paintball partners," Sheldon said casually, causing his three friends to glare at him. Sheldon only shrugged non apologetically. "Well, it's true. For one, it didn't help that you didn't follow my leadership."

"Oh, please. You're like the Hitler of Paintball," Howard told the lanky man.

"If I was, I'd send you to a spray paint chamber," Sheldon told him. "You'd have paint in spots that'd never come out."

"That sounds like a delightful time, my Fuhrer," Howard said with a jaunty salute and grin that made Sheldon roll his eyes.

"Oh, hey guys," Penny said, coming down the stairs.

"Oh, hey Penny," Leonard said.

"Hello," Sheldon said somewhat sourly.

"Morning ma'am," Howard said with another jaunty salute.

"So how was paintball? Did you guys have fun?" Penny asked.

"I would've had more fun if I had more competent teammates," Sheldon said with a pointed glare, making the others groan.

"Sheldon, would you just let it go?" Leonard said in an exasperated tone.

"I will not," Sheldon said before looking to Penny. "When you have to defeat an entire paintball team of children basically by yourself, it's not fun for anyone."

"Is he serious?" Penny asked, looking to Leonard.

"Well..."

"C-3PO here turns into Terminator when he plays paintball," Howard said, pointing a thumb at him.

"I do happily demolish most of the teams we go against," Sheldon said happily. "Accuracy is a given if you have a working knowledge of angles and projectile direction. Unlike _some_ people who claim to call themselves scientists. Even Howard with his Masters in engineering has far better aim than you." Here Leonard looked at Penny with a lazy, exasperated expression.

"Kill me. Kill me now," he said, making the woman laugh.

"I think you'll live," Penny said, amusement shining clearly in her eyes. "So, I'm having a party on Saturday, so if you're around, come by."

"A party?" Leonard questioned.

"Yeah," Penny confirmed.

"A boy-girl party?" Howard asked, getting _that_ tone his voice. The tone of Pervy Howard. Which activated just about every time he got around a woman. Penny just gave him the blankest stare ever.

"There will be boys, there will be girls, and it is a party, so yeah," she said simply. "Just a bunch of my friends, have some beer, doing a little dancing."

"I'll be fine," Sheldon said immediately.

"You sure?" Penny asked.

"Very sure. Parties and me do not mix. Not after what happened the last time..." Sheldon trailed before shaking his head. There are some memories he'd like to forget upon earning his PhDs.

"Count me out too. But thanks for thinking of us," Leonard said.

"Are you sure? It's Halloween," Penny said, making Sheldon raise an eyebrow.

"A Halloween party?" he questioned.

"As in, costumes?" Howard questioned.

"Well, yeah," Penny said. Then she saw all the guys look at each other, and there was some kind of hidden agreement among them. It was still something she had yet to get used to.

"Is there a theme?" Leonard asked.

"Yeah. Halloween," Penny said obviously.

"No, he means towards the costume. Like, does anything have to fall under TV film, comics, or anything of the sort?" Sheldon asked.

"Anything you want," Penny said in an overly excited tone. Then she saw the each of them break out into wide grins as they looked at each other. There was that look again.

"Gentleman, to the sewing machines," Howard said as they continued up the stairs.

* * *

"Should've had that costume meeting like I suggested," Sheldon said, shaking his head.

"We all have other costumes. We can change," Leonard amended.

"Or, we can all walk behind each other and it'll look like one person going really fast," Raj suggested. Sheldon gave him a look of boredom before walking back in his room to change without a word. Leonard looked at the others suspiciously.

"I call Frodo!" he exclaimed before dashing to his room.

"Damn!" Raj and Howard exclaimed.

The rest of them changed their costumes, and Sheldon walked in right as everyone was properly adjusting their costumes. Howard was going as Robin Hood, Raj as Thor, and Leonard as Frodo.

"And Sheldon is neither Romanian nor afraid of the sun, but he's obviously a vampire," Raj said, the man in said vampire costume holding his hands out.

"Why a vampire?" Leonard asked curiously.

"I was wondering if I could still fit in this thing. Seems that I can," Sheldon said simply.

"Wait, you had a vampire costume? Why?" Leonard asked in disbelief.

"Don't ask," Sheldon said in that exasperated tone that let people know he really didn't want to talk about something. The memories of incessant giggling and touching made him stiffen in irritation at his eidetic memory.

"But in any case, I'm not Peter Pan, I'm Robin Hood," Howard said, standing to his feet.

"Really? Because I saw Peter Pan, and you're dressed exactly like Cathy Rigby," Raj noted, making Howard slump his shoulders in exasperation. "She was a little bigger than you, but it's basically the same look man."

"Sheldon, there's something I want to talk about before you go," Leonard said.

"Fire away," he said, checking how much juice was left.

"This party is my first chance for Penny to see me in the context of her social group, and I need you not embarrass me tonight," Leonard said, making Sheldon raise an eyebrow at him.

"You're dressing as Frodo around who likely be a bunch beer drinking jocks and rather prissy women. If life doesn't deviate very much from high school, believe me, you won't need me to do that," Sheldon said. "Besides, if you insist on trying to make this fantasy of a relationship happen, then the least you can do is be yourself. No person is going to be satisfied with a fallacy of who a person really is." Here Leonard looked at Sheldon in a bewildered fashion.

"Since when are you an expert on how relationships go?" he asked.

"Traditional relationships at least are a matter of common sense. I can know about something and not care about it one bit. Your career path, for example," Sheldon said, making Leonard pursue his lips.

"Fair enough," he said before they all started to head over to Penny's. Howard was the one to knock on the door before turning back to the others.

"Just a heads up fellas. If anyone gets lucky, I've got a dozen condoms in my quiver," Howard said, making Sheldon roll his eyes. He was not surprised.

"Oh hey guys," Penny greeted.

"Hey, sorry we're late," Leonard said.

"Late? It's 7:05," Penny said.

"And you said the party starts at seven," Sheldon reminded her.

"Yeah, I mean when you start a party at seven, no one shows up at... you know, seven," Penny said. Sheldon just looked at her with a long, baffled look that was shown even through the red eyes. Wait, red eyes?

"Come on in," she said slowly. She made sure to take in each of their costumes as they walked through the door.

"What, are all the girls in the bathroom?" Howard asked.

"Probably, but in their own homes," Penny said in an overly cheerful tone.

"So what time does the costume parade start?" Sheldon asked eagerly.

"The parade?" Penny questioned, giving him that look that showed she was completely lost.

"Yeah, so the judges can give out the prizes for best costume. Most frightening, most authentic. Things like that," Sheldon said.

"Oh Sheldon, I'm sorry, but there aren't going to be any parades or judges or prizes," Penny said regretfully.

"Well then, this party is going to suck. I don't exactly dress as a vampire for fun," Sheldon said, opening his cape as his arms were horizontally spread from out his body. Penny noticed that even besides the red eyes, he had the slight hints of make up and powder to make his skin seem ashy and sunken. The fangs and the outfit made him really look like a full out vampire. With so much effort, he must've really wanted to win the competition he thought was real.

"No, this is going to be fun. And you all look great," Penny said before gesturing to each of them in turn. "You with the vampire, Raj with Thor, and Howard with Peter Pan. That's so cute."

"No actually, he's..."

"I'm Peter Pan!" Howard interrupted quickly. Then his tone quickly turned disgustingly saccharine. "And I've got a handful of pixie dust with your name on it."

"No you don't," Penny said flatly. But then she looked at Sheldon. "So... Sheldon? A vampire?"

"Yes. An old costume I had in my closet. I mostly wore it because I thought there was going to be a competition. But I'll just settle for the fact that I will most likely have the best costume out of all of them. After all, I'm not seeing much competition now," Sheldon said, making the other three man glare at Sheldon competitively. The lanky scientist simply grinned in a challenging way.

"And you made this?" Penny asked.

"Goodness, no. A vampire isn't the first thing on my list for a costume. My sister got me this a few years ago. I honestly have no idea why I never got rid of it," Sheldon said in an exasperated tone. Leonard got a bewildered look on his face.

"You have a sister?" he questioned.

"I do. I was gifted with the better attributes of a superior mind to just about everyone on the planet, and she was gifted with the ability to socialize. Mother Nature gave me the better gift," Sheldon said with a pleased smile.

"She also cursed you with an unhealthy crazy coating," Penny noted.

"Aside from the fact that my mother had me tested, Howard has a creepy coating and you tend not to mention that," Sheldon quipped, making the engineer glance at him.

"I am not creepy. I just happen to explain all the glorious details of romance," Howard said.

"Then explain why you know sexual harassment laws back to front," Sheldon said, raising an eyebrow. Here, Penny's eyebrows raised into her hair.

"I don't think it's that important," Howard said with a smaller tone, sitting down on the couch. Sheldon's face was stolid, but everyone knew he lived to take the piss out of Howard.

By the time everyone else arrived, they were still in the same spot that they were when they got here with Raj stuffing his face full of Chex Mix. Sheldon didn't have much of a desire to socialize, and apparently, neither did anyone else.

"I'm still trying to figure out why I'm still here," Sheldon said.

"We're socializing; meeting new people," Leonard said.

"If that's the case, then you tell me why you're sitting here talking to me instead of 'socializing.' Or have you somehow mastered the ability of communication through telepathy? If so, please do share," Sheldon questioned. Then Penny walked by, noticing one of her friends arriving.

"Penny is wearing the worst Catwoman costume I've ever seen. And that includes Halle Berry's," Raj said with a finger point.

"She's not Catwoman. She's just a generic cat," Leonard corrected.

"And that's the kind of costume a woman makes for attention, not style. Goodness, people were smarter, I could've gone as The Doppler Effect or Spock instead of a vampire," Sheldon said, dusting his sleeves off.

"I don't know. I kind of like vampires," a woman said, and Sheldon seemed to stiffen. It was a woman in a nurse costume, and she seemed to be staring at Sheldon. Each of the scientist's heads turned to face her, and their eyes bugged out. "I'm into the whole sucking blood thing."

"Then you obviously must have some weird interests," Sheldon said in an as-a-matter of fact tone.

"Want to find out?" she said in a flirty tone.

"No thank you. I'm fine," Sheldon said rather curtly. The woman raised an eyebrow, but she was still smiling.

"Let me know if you change your mind," she said, walking away. Sheldon then turned back to the others as if nothing happened, but their jaws were still on the floor. Then they looked at Sheldon like he was crazier than usual.

"What's wrong with you?!" Howard exclaimed.

"What?" Sheldon questioned.

"You just turned down a total babe! Did you see that costume?!" he exclaimed, gesturing to her.

"And?" Sheldon questioned with a raised brow.

"And?" Howard spluttered. "You really are crazy."

"No, my mother had me tested. Besides, if I were even interested in dating, let alone just for a woman's looks, I'd hardly be better than the likes of you," Sheldon said simply.

"I think he really is a robot," Raj whispered to Howard, and Sheldon could easily hear them. He didn't respond and only rolled his eyes. Was the woman aesthetically pleasing? Yes. Did that mean anything to him? Absolutely not.

"If you aren't going to go for her, I will. I may not be sick, but I will turn my head and cough for that nurse's attention," Howard said, grabbing his quiver and going off. Sheldon rolled his eyes before standing to his feet.

"That's it. I'm going home," he said.

"Wait. Just stick around for a little bit longer. Maybe you can help me with something," Leonard told him.

"Like what?" Sheldon questioned.

"I don't know how to talk to these people," Leonard said.

"Has the paradigm for talking to people changed?" Sheldon questioned.

"No, it's just that... Different people and different interests make it harder to speak to people," Leonard said.

"Oh you think so? Well, let's test that hypothesis," Sheldon said, rising to his feet. Then he walked over to the first guy he saw. "You there. Do you know anything about science?"

"Not since I've been in school," the man said, looking taken aback from being addressed so suddenly. And Sheldon was nothing if not blunt.

"Well, my friend over there is having issues talking to people. He finds it difficult to talk to people if they have different interests," Sheldon said.

"Well, that's kind of true," the man said, and Sheldon thanked the stars above this guy didn't seem drunk or dumber than the average Kurt.

"Yes, but there's always some sort of common ground. What are you into?" Sheldon questioned.

"Sports, cars, chicks, music, and games. That's about it," he said.

"And there's common ground there. Games. It's something we all do as a group. Easily enough I've found one thing he could easily talk to you about. And a conversation could continue from there. Thank you. You've been helpful," Sheldon said.

"No problem man," he said, raising his bottle. Then Sheldon walked back over to Leonard.

"Well?" he questioned.

"Easily enough, I've discovered that even if people have different primary interests and careers, that does not mean there is no common ground for conversation. You just have to find it. Now go talk to someone. I'm going back to the apartment," Sheldon said, standing up. He moved to open the door, and he came face to face with a muscular caveman. "Kurt."

"I remember you. Last time I saw you, you threatened to call the cops if I didn't return Penny's TV," he said, looking at the scientist up and down. But he didn't seem particularly upset, which was nice.

"Yes. But you did. But you've returned it, so I don't have to worry about that. Feel free to enjoy the party," Sheldon said, going to move past him. But Kurt stopped him.

"What's the matter? Not finding anyone to socialize with?" Kurt said in a mocking tone, making Sheldon eye him in a bored fashion.

"Hardly. I had a purpose for coming here, and it didn't happen," he told him stiffly. And he still had no idea why he was wasting valuable brain cells talking to this idiot.

"Ok then. Later," Kurt said, and moved past Sheldon while Penny suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Kurt," she said somewhat stiffly but then she saw Sheldon heading out the door. "Oh, Sheldon. Where are you going?"

"Home. Where I intended to go initially when I found out there was no costume competition," he told her.

"You're still on that?" Penny questioned with a groan.

"You think I dress like this for fun?" Sheldon questioned.

"Yeah," Penny said rhetorically.

"Oh," Sheldon said in a flat tone. "Well, now you know." And Sheldon left it at that as he went back towards his own apartment. First thing to do was to get out of this blasted clothing and get rid of the contacts and makeup on his face. It didn't help that the costume were now starting to bring up bad memories without the loud, distracting music.

 _"Come on Shelly you look fine."_

 _"I look like a moron."_

 _"You do not. Besides, Sarah said she'll like it."_

Sheldon grunted before washing the makeup off his face and getting in some normal clothes. Maybe he should've burned the things. It was the best costume in his closet that he had. And from his experiences, people did consider it a good costume. Next time, he was getting confirmation on there being a contest before putting the thing on. Or rather next time, he was just going to as the Doppler Effect. It'd certainly ward of people who were left behind on the education system. Sadly, that was quite a bit.

Just as he sat down in regular clothing, getting ready to start an episode of Star Trek, Leonard stalked in.

"It seems you've seen the light as well. Come sit down," Sheldon said, but he barely finished the sentence before saw him sit down, seemingly paying no attention to what he said.

That was an indicator he was upset. The theoretical physicist weighed his options. Star Trek; talk to Leonard. Talk to Leonard and be exasperated or enjoy the tales of Spock. He looked towards his friend and sighed.

"All right Frodo. Troubles in the Middle Earth?" he questioned as he spun the remote in his hand.

"How about embarrassed in front of a bunch of people?" Leonard asked.

"You act as if that's not most of our childhood in a nutshell. Yet here we are, vastly superior in terms of career and mind. I know I had a laugh when I saw one of my elementary bullies working in a fast food establishment. Certainly made the spitballs worth it," Sheldon said almost wistfully, making Leonard grin slightly. Then he looked at him with a tilt of the head. "You want to talk about it?"

"No," Leonard said.

"That's clearly an indicator that you should if that's your reflexive response," Sheldon said, Leonard noticed that his friend seemed less robotic. There were times when they compared Sheldon to C-3PO, or in the case of paintball, the Terminator. But here he seemed more human; less stiff and more personable.

"It's always fun when someone bigger and stronger than you can push their weight on you," he said rather sarcastically.

"Kurt, I assume?" Sheldon said, and Leonard nodded. "I'm going to make a wild guess here. You wanted to prove to yourself that with the paradigm shift since ancient times that you could boast yourself as an Alpha, and that lead to Kurt ultimately disproving that fact in terms of physicality."

"You know, I'm starting to think you are a robot," Leonard said, looking over to his roommate in disbelief.

"Hardly. I just know you and I know how simple minds work. It was not hard to come up with a conclusion from there," Sheldon said simply.

"Makes sense," Leonard said before smiling at his roommate. "Thanks."

"It was either this or tea and a pat on the shoulder," Sheldon said with a shrug.

"I wouldn't mind the tea," Leonard said hopefully.

"You don't seem upset now. Make your own tea," Sheldon told him curtly before grabbing the remote. Leonard might have been crazy, but he thought he saw Sheldon's mouth upturn in a smile. It was only slightly and for a second, but he could've sworn he saw it.

"Hey Leonard," a soft voice said, and they both turned to see Penny's head peeking out from the door. "Sheldon.

"Hi Penny," Leonard said.

"Penny," Sheldon said. He thought about it for a moment before standing to his feet and leaving them to talk. "I'll return shortly. Don't touch the remote." Then he walked towards his room. He only gave them a few minutes before walking back, and Penny was gone while Leonard seemed calmer.

"Were you listening?" he asked.

"No. I wasn't the least bit curious," Sheldon said, hitting play and starting the first episode. "You seem to be in higher spirits."

"A little," Leonard said.

"You do know, she was drinking, right?" Sheldon reminded him, and Leonard knew Sheldon's normal attitude was back.

"Yes I do know that!" he said in an annoyed tone.

"Just making sure the alcohol hasn't intoxicated you too," Sheldon said, and Leonard sighed before shaking his head. Leonard had only watched a few episodes before heading off to bed. Sheldon's eyes then wandered to his room and to the costume. He decided against the Star Trek and decided to go write a letter to his mother before turning in.

 _"Maybe next Halloween, I'll burn that stupid costume,"_ Sheldon thought as he walked into his room for a paper and pen.


End file.
